So this is the New Year...

....and I don't feel any different. Thank you Death Cab for saying what I think every year! I guess it is fun to reflect on the previous year and think about things to change, but I kind of think we should do that all the time, ya know? Every day, actually. I don't want to make any new year's resolutions because I think it's too daunting. How about new day or new week resolutions? Every day or week will be a new attempt at changing/improving. I think that is a little more do-able than making a huge overhaul. Besides, if I fail one week, I can always start over the next instead of giving up altogether.

 One thing I would like to do this year is to have a jar in the house in which we place memories from the year and reflect on them on NYE. Ryan and I will attempt this and just put a memory in the jar any time we think of it. I found this idea on Pinterest a while ago and thought it was sweet. I can't wait to see the things hubs puts in the jar!

 As with any year, there are joys and sorrows. I'm thankful for a God who understands both and shows us His love through them. This year especially through both the joys and sorrows, I have had a greater yearning for Heaven. Through the joys because they are foretastes of the ultimate joy we will experience in being with Christ. Through the sorrows because I know that one day Jesus will come and sin and sorrow will be no more. Come Lord Jesus!

 My prayer is that this year I will grow in holiness. I know that can only happen by God's grace and I pray that he changes my heart from stone to flesh daily.

Discipline

So sorry I've been silent for two months! I feel like I have not stopped since the new year started. I think things are starting to slow down a little and I'm able to catch my breath and regain some composure. Whew!

I entitled this post "Discipline" because I've been thinking about it quite a bit lateley. I've been blessed to be a part of a women's systematic theology class with my best friends from Sojourn. I'm learning the doctrines that I've "known" for so long and it's been hard and rewarding. I'm also reading Practical Theology for Women by Wendy Horger Alsup. I mostly wanted it because the cover is so cute:

It has been the perfect read to go along with our systematic theology study. Alsup states in her book that "theology is the root, foundation, and framework for practical living that reflects wisdom and understanding." I've always enjoyed knowing tidbits of theology but it was just knowledge for a long time. Kind of like the random trivia that I pick up from nowhere but remember just in time to answer a question in Cranium. By no means is theology trivial, but I seemed to have used it the same way I use trivia.....by rembering it just in time to answer someone's question. I know a lot of answers but what does that mean?

Let me answer that with another chunk from Alsup:

"Theology, at its most basic sense is the study of God. Proper theology is not complex, but is fundamentally important for all believers, because knowing our God and understanding his character are essential tools that enable us to exercise wisdom in our daily lives. As we study who God is and what he does, we are equipped to deal with the big and small issues of life. Knowing God and acting in faith in light of those beliefs is key to a life that is pleasing to God. Know him, and then act like you know him. That is faith."

I love that last line. True faith comes through truly believing God's words through our actions. Do I really believe that God is soverign if I'm worried about when I'll have a baby? Why don't I pray if I know that Jesus is my intercessor? Why do I ignore the Holy Spirit when I know he is my counselor and is working for my good because he loves me? I don't have any faith in Him. I don't allow myself to be disciplined. I act like a spoiled child when trials come my way and throw a fit instead of trusting my heavenly Father.

Ryan is in a Personal Spiritual Disciplines class this semster. Praise the soverign God above that he is so that I can also glean wisdom through it. Ryan is teaching me about meditation and prayer and how to really read the Word of God. Things I knew, but never practiced. I pray with all that is in me that the Holy Spirit will give me strength to endure through the times that suck so that He can transform my heart to be more like Christ's. The reason I quit is the same as the reason I quit exercising or eating right....because it's easy. I don't see the effects right away when I stop working out or eat junk most meals, but they show up later when I'm fat and out of energy. The same will happen when I'm not spiritually disciplined...I'll be a crazy wife and mother full sin and empty of love.

Jesus, save me from myself daily.

I hope that you are encouraged. Praise God that there is grace and he loves us too much to let us stay as we are. I can't wait for the day that we are free from sin's effects for good! Come, Lord Jesus!

Homeward Bound

I'm so excited.

This time next week, Ryan and I will be in Arkansas! We're so thankful that we get to spend Christmas with our families next week. It will be a short trip, so we won't get to see everyone that we want to, but we're glad we'll be with family. Christmastime seems to get better and better as I get older.

I can't believe this year is almost over. What a year it has been! I've gotten married to my perfect soul-mate and we moved to a new city and made amazing new friends. The only downside is we miss our Arkansan peeps. Many nights Ryan and I will reminisce about college days and the year "off" that we took. We had so many good times. (Thank the Lord for Facebook so I can stalk all of you!) This year has been a great learning year. People always tell you about marriage, but you really don't know anything until you're there. We're thankful for the preparation we did receive from our pastors and mentors. It's been very helpful. I'm glad that Ryan and I know that marriage is not only for happiness, but for holiness. We know that when things aren't quite right, it's because we're sinful and the Lord is smoothing out our edges and refining us. Ryan has been the best sanctification tool outside the Holy Spirit and I am so thankful for him. It hasn't even been a year and I can already see how the Lord has been changing us. I'm told the "newlywed" ooey gooey phase will eventually fade, but knowing that marriage serves a greater purpose than making us "feel good" gives me great hope that we'll be together forever.

I'm really looking forward to next year for one big reason: I'll be an aunt! It'll be so exciting to have a baby in the family again. The last one we had was Alex and he is 16 now (oh my gosh).  I know my mom is thrilled and it'll be fun to see my dad as grandpa. I can't wait to spoil that cute bundle of joy!
I'll be 24 next month and that sounds weird. I'm sure I'll be one of those people who won't be able to handle the transition to her 30s well since I'm already freaking about my mid 20s. I still don't feel like an adult. I'm pretty sure I never will. Ask Ryan. I still dance and sing in the living room like a 3 year old. I'm a total dork.

Well friends I hope I get to see some of you next week! If not it's only because we were there for the weekend and just ran out of time! May the Lord bless your time with family and friends this Christmas. Thank you Father for sending your Son to the earth for our redemption. You are truly good. We are nothing without You.

Merry Christmas!

Encouraging a Fun Marriage

For SWI we had an assignment in which we had to either 1) develop a plan to get over our fear of public speaking 2) write a quick speech on a topic of personal interest or 3) write out questions that may come up during an interview with a pastor/staff search committee and your answers to them. I quickly jumped on the topical speech and as I was writing it, I thought it might be fun to share it with more than just the grader. I wrote the speech on one of my passions-marriage. I'm sickened by the view on marriage that our current society holds so I wanted to speak on how to encourage those who are married to have a fun marriage and try to change that view that is so dismal. Now, I know I've only been married 7 months, but thankfully, I've gleaned some wisdom from women who have been married much longer. I've placed my ideas into practice, and I must say I love how fun my marriage to Ryan is. So here is my homework assignment verbatim. Hope you enjoy! Also, if you have other ideas to make marriage fun, post them please! 

               

                I love having fun. Who doesn’t? Laughing and having a good time are always things I am up for. I feel that too many people think that having fun is a waste of time or counter-productive. These people are usually depressed, stressed to the max, or really grumpy or angry most of the time. Why would you want to live like that? I’m not trying to say that we shouldn’t work or be productive or even be serious sometimes, but I think a life full of fun and laughter is just better. God created fun. God created laughter. He made things for our enjoyment because He is gracious and loves us. Shouldn’t we enjoy them fully and declare His glory in them? Although I could go on and on about enjoying God’s creations and worshiping Him through that enjoyment, I want to focus on one area in particular: marriage. We live in a world that doesn’t value marriage very much. Divorce rates are through the roof and people are staying single longer so that they can enjoy life first….and then get married. I want to show how enjoying life increases when marriage comes, not the other way around.

                First, be silly. This is something that my husband and I do frequently. We talk in goofy voices, we make up funny dances, we play silly games. When you can be silly with your spouse there is some serious “one-ness” going on. Your guard is totally let down. You’re being vulnerable. You’re letting him see the goofy stuff that’s in your head. He is accepting who you are, encouraging your creativity, and loving you deeply. You’re also doing the same things for him. Let’s face it, we all do weird stuff, we just don’t let anyone see it. We’re so afraid of what people will think. Because of that mindset there is some degree of disconnect with those around us. When you get out of that shell with your husband, there is huge bonding that happens. For me, it has encouraged me to be more real and transparent and truly increases my effectiveness in ministry.

                Second, get cuddling! This is a HUGE one for me. Physical touch is my primary love language. In my pre-sleep ritual, I have to have 5-10 minutes of quality cuddling. For me, cuddling helps me feel safe and secure. When my husband is holding me it communicates “I’m going to care for you and protect you.” This may be a more intimate moment than fun, but we like to mix in some silliness sometimes. Knowing I can truly trust my husband makes our marriage very fun.

                Lastly, DATE NIGHT, DATE NIGHT, DATE NIGHT. To have a fun marriage you have to mix fun into it! Date night is a chance to make great memories to look back on. One of my favorite date nights was actually last week. My husband and I went to eat at Chili’s (our favorite) and watch a movie. Dinner and a movie is a classic date night and it is our favorite date night to do. At dinner we got to talk and share some “us” time and my sweet husband shared his heart by telling me how much he appreciated me being so understand while he has been busy every night with homework. My heart melted. This man loves me and doesn’t take me for granted. He really does want me by his side! Next, we followed up dinner by seeing Megamind. We are still kids at heart and love watching animated movies. This one was especially great because Will Ferrell and Tina Fey were voices in it: two more of our favorites! We love watching movies because we talk about them at length afterward. Usually with comedies, we pick a few lines to quote frequently. It creates a memory or an inside joke that only we have. That night was incredible. It was simple but it was perfect. Make date night special. It can look a hundred different ways, but find time to get alone with you man and cherish each other.

                Hopefully, I’ve provided some ways to encourage a fun marriage. Sure, there will bumps in your marital road, but those should be exceptions, not the rule. Delight in one-another like the couple in Song of Solomon. Enjoy this life as you share it with your best friend who knows you better than anyone! Through our marriages, may we be an example of love to those who do not know it.

Baby Fever

Real quick...no, we're not pregnant.

Not that anybody thought we were.

I've been stuggling with contentment. Not in the way that I wish we had a different house or lived in a different place or wish we had more money, but in that I really want a baby. It seems like every other woman I see is pregnant or has a small child. There's got to be something in the water up here. I know right now is definitely not the time to bring a child into the world. For one, we cannot afford it. Two, Ryan is in school and having a baby would mean he would have to take less hours and work more. Three, I really want to be a stay-at-home mom and in our situation, that just would not be possible. Four, we've only been married about 7 months! I'm just now getting used to living with a man so bringing a baby in could be chaotic.

I'm not saying people are wrong for having a baby in the circumstances we are in. I know the Lord would absolutely provide if we were to be blessed with a child. We simply want to be good stewards with what He has given us. First and foremost, we want our children to have a parents who love Jesus and each other deeply. We're trying to figure this whole marriage thing out and we know the best gift we can give to our kids is a loving, gospel-centered marriage. Second, we want to be able to have me stay at home and be the primary care-giver of our children. There's nothing wrong with working moms, but we believe it is best for me to stay home than to pay a stranger to raise them. Third, we would like Ryan to graduate from seminary in a reasonable amount of time. Fourth, we would really like to have a little more financial stability, but ultimately this is up to the Lord and how he chooses to bless us.

I think I'm mostly posting all this as a reminder to myself to wait. Obviously I can't "make a baby" on my own, but I also want my heart in the right place and to not cause my sweet husband grief. Ryan loves children and we want to have a big family, but he is definitely the level-headed one and often has to tell me how impractical it is for us to have kids now and in the next 3-4 years.

The Lord knows my heart. I am excited for the day that He gives us the amazing gift of tending a precious soul. In the meantime, I refuse to let my thoughts dwell on what I don't have. Lord, stir up contentment within me.

Philippians 4:11-13

"...I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."